6 Family

Family and society

Danish society and the welfare state are founded on respect for the individual and responsibility for the community, both in relation to the family and society as a whole.

Equal rights for men and women

Men and women have the same rights and responsibilities, and participate in the labour market, economic and political life on an equal footing. The same applies to family life, where men and women have an equal right to make decisions about their lives, including divorce, for example. In most families, both the husband and wife hold down jobs and share the task of running the home.

Joint responsibility for citizen and society

Citizens and the public sector share responsibility for a number of tasks, for example, that children and young people receive a good upbringing and education and that the sick and weak receive care and treatment.

By paying taxes, all citizens contribute towards the public sector, which is responsible for carrying out a number of important tasks. For example, the public sector provides day care facilities for children, schools and hospitals, as well as providing help for the sick, the elderly and others who are unable to look after themselves.

Volunteers

A number of voluntary and private associations help those in need. Often in close collaboration with the families and the public sector. We refer to www.frivillige.dk for further details.

Family life and partnerships

Most families in Denmark consist of a father, mother and children. Many young people live on their own for a number of years until they get married or move in together and have children. Some adults live alone with their children. Many adults and elderly people live alone.

Marriage

A couple are allowed to get married when both parties have reached 18. People under 18 must obtain special permission from their municipal authority. A person must not already be married, and it is against the law to marry siblings or close relatives such as children, parents or grandparents. It is up to the individual to decide whom he or she marries. Marriage is voluntary and it is against the law to force anyone into marriage. If you marry a person who lives in another country and want him or her to live in Denmark, you and your spouse must apply for a residence permit or family reunification. Find out more in Chapter 3, Entry and residence in Denmark.

Registry or church

A couple can be married at a registry or in a church. A civil marriage ceremony is performed by a registrar or another public official in your municipal authority. A church marriage ceremony is performed by a priest from the Danish National Church* or an alternative religious community where the priest has the power to marry couples.

If you were married in another country, your marriage will probably be recognised in Denmark as well. Ask at the Danish national register in your municipal authority.

Duty to provide for one another

When you marry, it is your duty to financially provide for one another. And as a general rule, all belongings are joint property. When a married couple have children, the parents automatically have joint custody.

Registered partnerships

Homosexuals can also enter into a registered partnership which is legally binding in the same way as marriage. Homosexuals have the same rights and duties as all other citizens. There are, however, certain exceptions. For example, homosexual couple do not have the right to adopt children.

Cohabitation

When two people decide to live together without being married it is called cohabitation. A couple who cohabit do not have the same duties and responsibilities towards one another as married couples. This is particularly important if the couple have children and decide to split up.

Custody*

If a couple have children and are not married, the mother automatically gets custody of the children. But the parents can have joint custody* if they agree to this.

Disagreements can end up in court

If a cohabiting couple decides to split up, it is up to them to sort out their possessions. Just as they should agree where the children are to live. If they can not agree, the matter must be settled in a court of law. If they can not agree about where the children should live, they can seek help from the state administration*.

Separation and divorce

A spouse who no longer wishes to live in a married relationship has the right to divorce. Separation is a kind of trial period, where the couple live apart but are still married. A married couple can get divorced if they have been separated for one year. If they agree, they can be divorced after six months.

If divorce is due to infidelity or physical violence, it is possible to be divorced immediately without a trial separation.

Sharing responsibility for the children.

The parents themselves decide how to share responsibility for the children. If they can not agree, they can seek help from the state administration. If no agreement is reached, the matter can be settled by a court of law.

A couple wishing to separate and divorce must apply to the state administration in the region* where they live. Here they can get advice about the conditions for separation, divorce, custody, division of property and maintenance payments.

Child support payments.

The parent not living with the child must make child support payments to the other. Child support payments are tax deductible.

Contraception and abortion

You can always talk to your doctor about how to avoid becoming pregnant. There are many different kinds of contraception to choose from.

In Denmark, a woman has the right to an induced abortion in hospital before the end of the twelfth week of pregnancy. In special circumstances it is also possible to have an abortion after this date.

The right to an abortion is primarily founded on the woman's right to decide over her own body.

If you want an abortion, you must contact your doctor, who will refer you to the hospital. Normally, an induced abortion is a surgical procedure under general anaesthesia. It is also possible to have a medical abortion. In other words, an abortion induced by taking pills.

We refer to www.sexlinien.dk for further details.

No one should be subjected to physical violence

What happens within the four walls of the home comes under the heading of private life, and accordingly, neither the state nor the municipal authorities interfere. Having said this, no one, neither adult nor child, must be exposed to physical violence or abuse within the home. It is against the law to subject others to physical violence. This includes children and spouse. If you are beaten, threatened or forced into having sex, you can seek help either from your municipal authority, a crisis centre or an advisory centre. Violence and duress should be reported to the police.

Seek help before it is too late

If you need help and advice, you can contact your municipal authority or an advisory centre where you have the right to remain anonymous.

Crisis aid and crisis centres

If things go wrong and you need help here and now, you can move into a crisis centre. Here you will be given shelter until it can be determined what is to happen next. Crisis centres also offer social, physical and educational support.

There are crises centres dotted around the country; both for men and women. It is possible to bring children with you to crisis centres. Most crisis centres are for women seeking protetction from violent husbands or someone else who abuses them. We refer to www.lokk.dk and www.social.dk for further details.

Having a baby

Examination by the doctor or midwife

Pregnant women have the right to an examination by a doctor or midwife. The first check-up is with your own doctor when you have reached your ninth week of pregnancy. It is up to you to make this appointment. When you have entered your 10-12th week of pregnancy, you can go for an examination that will show whether there is any risk of the child having mongolism or certain hereditary diseases. Your doctor or midwife will talk to you about the examination.

A case file follows you and the child

The doctor opens a "case history" that you must take with you to all examinations by the doctor or midwife. In the file the doctor or midwife records the progress of the pregnancy. The purpose of examinations is to monitor how you and the baby are doing.

Birth preparations

You can go to antenatal courses and learn all about what happens to your body during pregnancy and the development of the baby. You will also learn how to do breathing and physical exercises that train the body and make giving birth easier and less painful. Ask your midwife about available courses. You can bring your husband or another person along to the courses.

Birth

In Denmark, most people give birth in a hospital maternity ward. You decide where and how you want to give birth. You can bring your husband or another person along to the birth. It is also possible to have the baby at home. Consult your midwife.

On the maternity ward*

If you have your baby in the hospital, you and the child will be moved to a room on the maternity ward. Here you can get help in looking after the baby and advice on breast feeding and care of the newborn.

Birth certificate, naming and christening

Once the baby is born, the parents must fill in a form which is to be sent to the Registrar of the State Church, who will issue a birth certificate. It is the Danish National Church* which registers all new births, irrespective of religion, on behalf of the state.

The Danish National Church registers everyone

The Danish National Church also registers all newborn names. You therefore must inform the Registrar of the State Church of the baby's name. This must be done before the child reaches six months. You can find a naming form at www.personregistrering.dk. The child will receive a birth certificate.

The child can also be named in connection with a christening ceremony in the Danish National Church or another recognised religious community. The child will receive a birth certificate.

The first name must be approved

A child can have one or two first names. You can choose from a list of approved names by logging onto the Department of Family Affairs' website at www.familiestyrelsen.dk. If you want a name that is not on the list, you can apply to have it approved. An application form is available from the Registrar of the State Church.

Maternity and parental leave

All pregnant women have the right to a period of maternity leave both before and after birth. The child's father can also take parental leave for a fixed period. The public authorities and certain private companies have accords or agreements that ensure employees receive salaried maternity leave. Parents who do not receive a salaried maternity leave can receive maternity maintenance from their municipal authority. This also applies to self-employed people if they have had their business for a minimum of six months. Parents of small children are also entitled to parental leave. Ask your municipal authority for conditions.

The health visitor pays a visit

You have the right to be visited by a health visitor. You can have the first visit a week after the mother and child have come back from the hospital. After that, you agree on future visits.

Following the development of the child

The job of the health visitor is to advise you so that you and the child get off to the best possible start. The health visitor examines the child and follows its development. The health visitor focuses on the welfare of the whole family and offers advice on any matters about which you may be in doubt.

Examinations by your own doctor

Your child can receive a number of free health examinations from your family doctor. Read more about children's health examinations in Chapter 11.

Mothers' groups

The health visitor can organise several women who have given birth at around the same time into mothers' groups. The mothers meet at each other's houses or in a place organised by the health visitor to talk and exchange experiences. Ask your health visitor if there are any mothers' groups in which you can participate.

Children looked after outside the home

As both parents work during the day, most small children are looked after in day care centre or facility. Many schoolchildren attend an after-school care facility or an after-school centre. Parents stay in close dialogue with the institutions that care for their children. In this way they are able to influence the child's childhood and upbringing - also when the child is not at home.

Childminders, day care and nurseries

The vast majority of children under the age of six are looked after by a childminder or at a day care centre or nursery every day. It is the task of municipal authorities to provide day care facilities, and the options vary from authority to authority. The most common are:

• Day care. This means that together with other children, the child is looked after by a childminder approved by the municipal authority. This is particularly aimed at children from 0-3.
• Day nursery - for children from six months up to the age of two.
• Crèche - for children aged three and up to school starting age.
• Outdoor crèche - where children spend the day in the countryside or the woods.
• An integrated institution - for children aged six months and up to school starting age.
• Private day care. Some municipal authorities award a grant to parents so their children can be put in private day care.

You must apply for a place

It is your job to contact the municipal authorities to book a place for your child. If there are not any places immediately available, the child's name will be placed on a waiting list. The earlier you put down the child's name, the greater the chance of finding a place when you need it. If you would like your child to be looked after in childminding facilities, you should put down its name immediately after birth.

If you move to another municipal authority

If you move to another municipal authority before the child has begun at a day care centre, you must contact the new authority and have the child's name placed on a waiting list there. Remember to tell them how long the child has been waiting so you are not put at the end of the queue.

If you move to another municipal authority after the child has begun at a day care centre, you must contact the new authority and have the child's name placed on a waiting list there. You can also keep the child at the day care centre in the authority from which you have just moved.

Ring and make an appointment

You are always welcome to visit several day care centres before deciding where you would like to place your child. Call and make an appointment so that you are sure that personnel have time to talk to you and give you a tour of the centre.

Payment

You must bear the cost of having your child looked after at a day care centre. The state, however, pays part of the cost. If you have several children in day care, you will receive sibling discount, and you can also apply to the municipal authority for a free or partially free place for your child. Ask your municipal authority.

Duty to have the child looked after

If you are out of work and receive cash benefit, unemployment benefit* or introductory benefit*, it is your duty to make yourself available to the job market. This means that you must be able to start work as soon as one becomes available or be ready to accept a job activation offer. This requires that your children be in day care.

If you have not already found someone to look after your child, your municipal authority will offer you a place at a day care centre or in day care. You are obliged to accept this. Failure to do so can lead to a suspension of financial aid.

Private day care grant

The municipal authorities award a grant to parents who want to have their child in private day care, for example, by hiring a nanny. Some municipal authorities award parents a grant to look after their own children. The authority decides whether it will award such a grant.

Help for language development

If your child needs it, it can be given special help to learn Danish, so-called language stimulation, from the age of three. It is your municipal authority that provides this service, and a special language expert will assess whether your child requires language stimulation. If your child attends a nursery, language stimulation will take place there. If the child is looked after in the home, the child must receive 15 hours' language stimulation a week. Language stimulation is mandatory. Ask your municipal authority.

My son developed a large vocabulary playing together with Danish children.

Gülay Ciftci emigrated from Turkey to Denmark in 1977. She works as a municipal integration and cash benefit consultant and is currently studying to be a social worker.

"When our son began at school, his teachers commented on his large vocabulary. This was because he had mostly played with Danish children. For even though I speak Danish to him, there are words I don't know but which he learns from other children. We grown-ups can learn from each other in the same way. We have always invited Danish children and their parents into our home. We have discussed a great many topics and this has proved educational for them and for us. A lot of prejudices have disappeared - on both sides."

Contact between parents and personnel

Positive contact between parents and day care personnel is crucial to the healthy development of the child. Personnel will inform you about what happens at the day care centre on a daily basis. They want to hear about your experiences with the child and changes in the family that affect the child.

If you need more time to speak to personnel, you can arrange for a parent-teacher meeting.

Many day care centres employ bi-lingual personnel who participate in the meetings. Otherwise you can be given an interpreter.

Parent-teacher meetings and boards

It is important that you take an active interest in your child's daily life, also when your child is in the care of others. You can find out more about what is happening at your child's day care centre and make suggestions at parent-teacher meetings held twice a year. At one of the parent-teacher meetings, parents elect representatives to the parent board. Representatives have a say in the centre's finances, activities and the education that impacts on the daily lives of the children.

Children and young people

Between two cultures

It can be difficult being a child or a young person if there is a great difference between the norms and values in Danish society and those you have grown up with at home. And it can be difficult being a parent, experiencing society's norms and expectations of children and young people that are so different from those of your native country.

Teenagers

It does not get any easier when children reach their teenage years and experience important physical and emotional changes. Like all other children they must find themselves, learn to stand on their own two feet and prove that they are independent. At the same time, the parents are responsible for them and continue to set boundaries for their teenage children.

Agreements and rules

Most young people living at home reach agreement with their parents as to what rules apply to going to parties, what time they have to be home, and if they are allowed to spend the night away from home. Many young people - boys and girls - meet at cafés and discotheques in their spare time or hold private parties. Some spend the night at each other's houses.

Many parents discuss their attitudes towards smoking, drinking and parties, for example, at parent-teacher meetings. Individual families have very different attitudes towards the rules that should apply and the degree of free scope afforded their children. At parent-teacher meetings, parents can establish common rules for their children - for example, in connection with school parties.

The body and sex

Whether or not you approve, you will often come across sex and nudity in Danish society. Newspapers write articles about sex and sex life, and adverts and commercials visually exploit the human body.

This reflects a general social trend towards a more liberal view of sexual life. In the last decade, new ways of living together have come into being as well as greater freedom to decide over one's own body and improved conditions for homosexuals, for example. With this freedom, however, comes responsibility.

This means there are limits on what you can and can not do, and no one is allowed to force others to do things against their will. The assumption is that we respect each other's personal and sexual boundaries.

Semi-naked sunbathers in the park and on the beach or scantily clad or naked bathers, for example, should not be seen as an open invitation to sex. In the same way, neither a person's body language nor provocative fashion should be interpreted as an open invitation to sex. Sexual assault must be reported to the police so that the offender(s) can be prosecuted.

Children and their rights

Denmark has signed the UN convention on children's rights which applies to all children under 18, regardless of origin. According to the convention, children have the right to food, good health and a place to live, the right to go to school, to play and to be protected from war, violence, abuse and exploitation. They also have the right to co-determination and influence.

In Denmark, it is against the law to hit children; female circumcision is similarly against the law.

Legislation

Danish legislation establishes clear boundaries for children's rights and the protection of children. It is against the law to have sex with a minor, i.e. a person under the age of 15. Young people must be 16 before they are allowed to buy cigarettes and alcohol. Young people must be 18 before they are allowed to buy alcohol in restaurants and discotheques.

Leaving home

According to Danish law, people have full legal capacity at 18. This means the can take a driving test, borrow money and are legally responsible for themselves. Many young people leave home once they turn 18 to live on their own or together with others their own age.

Advice and guidance

It is possible to get professional help to solve difficult problems. Both parents and children can seek advice and guidance - together or own their own. Ask your municipal authority or contact a crisis line or a telephone helpline. These services are free and callers can remain anonymous.

Help for children and families with problems.

It is the parents' responsibility to care for their children and create a stable environment for their upbringing. Society does not interfere unless there is a suspicion that the child's welfare is at risk.

If there are problems, the municipal authority contacts the family and tries to help solve them. The family or a family member can also seek help. This is a collaborative effort between the authority and the family. Help consists of different forms of family support.

If parents fail in their duty to such an extent that the child can not thrive or develop properly within the family, the child is placed in alternative care outside the family. This can happen with the parents' consent or take the form of forced removal. The child can be placed in an institution or in foster care for a period of time. For example, this might be because the parents hit the child or because they are unable to care for the child properly. Young people with serious social problems or who have become involved in crime and whose parents are unable to care for them, can be placed in special institutions. Here, they get help to start an education or find a job.

Children and adults with a disability

As normal a life as possible

Together with their families, children, teenagers and adults with special needs or with a physical or mental disability can get help so that their everyday lives are made easier. The aim is for people with a disability to live as active and normal a life as possible.

Special services

Most children with disabilities or children with special needs live with their parents and attend normal nurseries, schools and leisure activities. But some go to special nurseries and schools where children are trained and taught by specially trained personnel.

Young people and adults have access to remedial instruction, day and 24-hour centres, drop-in centres, sheltered workplaces and workshops.

Some live in own accommodation and receive personal and practical help from the state. This may be a wheelchair or another auxiliary aid or a personal helper. Others live in a special institution or shared or sheltered accommodation where they receive the help they need.

Life for the elderly

Active elderly

Elder citizens have numerous opportunities to pursue their interests and lead an active life. The Danish government's ageing policy is founded on the principle that the elderly should have as much responsibility and say in their own lives as possible. As an elderly citizen, you therefore retain the right to be a part of the decision-making process. Both on a personal level and in relation to decisions affecting your local area.

Municipal authorities have their own elderly councils whose members are locally elected elderly citizens who advise the authority on matters of special importance to the elderly in the local community. Ask your municipal authority about the possibilities and meeting places.

Working life and retirement

Danish society also needs its elderly citizens to make a contribution if they can. Some people work until they reach 70. Others retire when they reach 65 and have the right to draw a state pension. Others retire from the job market earlier still, taking pre-retirement benefit and early retirement pension.

State pension

Most people have the right to a state pension when they reach 65. The principle behind the state pension scheme is that a person earns the right to a pension as a citizen in Danish society. If you have lived in Denmark for 40 years from the age of 15 until you retire, you have the right to a full state psnsion. If you have lived in Denmark for a shorter time, you have the right to a smaller pension. It is the municipal pension office that calculates the size of the pension and can inform you of the amount to which you are entitled.

Pension savings

Many people supplement their state pensions with other kinds of pension. Many employees subscribe to pension schemes. This means that each month the employer and the employee pay a fixed amount towards a pension held by a pension provider. You can also make direct payments to a private pension savings in a bank or a pension provider.

If you pay to a private pension provider, the amount is tax deductible and you will end up paying less tax.

Early retirement benefit

Early retirement benefit enables people to retire or partially retire from work, as the scheme allows you to remain a salaried employee while receiving a reduced early retirement benefit.

The earliest age you can take early retirement benefit is 60. You must have been a member of an unemployment fund for 30 years and have made special early retirement contributions. Early retirement benefit stops, at the latest, when you reach 65.

Early retirement

Some people suffer from such major physical or mental problems that they are unable to work and must take early retirement. A person must fulfil certain conditions in order to qualify for early retirement - one of them being their period of residence in Denmark. Ask your municipal authority

In-home help

Most elderly people live in their own homes for as long as possible. It is possible to get help for things like cleaning and shopping. If you are physically weak, you can also receive personal care. How much help will depend on how the municipal authority assesses the individual's needs.

Housing for the elderly

If you are a senior citizen with special needs or physical problems, you can apply to your municipal authority for senior housing. Senior housing is specially designed to meet the needs of the elderly and those with disabilities. A lot of senior housing is linked to healthcare centres so that it is easy for residents to call for help. There may be waiting lists for senior housing. So it is a good idea to put your name down early.

Sheltered housing or nursing home

Elderly who are in need of a great deal of care can either be housed in sheltered accommodation or live in a nursing home. Here, personnel take care of practical things like cooking, laundry and cleaning and help residents with personal hygiene. Nurses are also on hand to administer medicine where needed and supervise elderly healthcare treatment.

The elderly must pay for the help they receive. But prices are usually so low that the elderly can manage, even on a state pension.

When life comes to a close

Death certificate

When a person dies, a doctor writes a death certificate. If the death occurs at home, a relative must contact the doctor as soon as possible. The family receives the death certificate together with a death report which must be sent to the Registrar of the State Church. It is the Danish National Church* which registers all deaths, irrespective of the religion of the deceased or their family, on behalf of the state.

When a person dies, the probate court* is automatically informed and summons the immediate family a short time after death. Here, it is decided what will become of the deceased's possessions and personal effects.

Burial

Normally, the deceased is buried or cremated within eight days. An undertaker can assist with the practicalities. It is possible to obtain financial assistance, a funeral grant, from your municipal authority. If the deceased is to be buried in another country, the municipal authority must issue a special body passport to accompany the deceased.

2,100 cemeteries

The Danish National Church* has about 2,100 cemeteries at its disposal, and all citizens in Denmark have the right to be buried in a cemetery. If you belong to another religious community you can not demand to have your traditions and customs respected. But you can inform the cemetery board of your wishes.

Cemeteries for other religious communities

Some cemeteries have burial sites for the Mosaic Religious Community, Catholics and Muslims. Religious communities outside the Danish National Church can also establish their own cemeteries. For example, there is a Muslim cemetery in the Municipality of Brøndby. This is owned and managed by the Danish Islamic Burial Foundation.